A begining

• Venting is required

  Why do people feel the need to act as if they know me, am i that easy to read, do i really portray that message. I try to be complex i also try and block alot of my past out, simply because i dont want to dwell on it. No matter how hard i try people just keep acting like they know me and everything about me. Okay my mom died no big deal. I got over it so why cant anyone else.
  
  Really i didnt get over it, really it still gets harder each day to face all those faces that are thinking exactly what im thinking, this is so hard.
  
  "Hey Jen, how are you feeling today?" This is what my teachers ask me everyday as i walk in to class, and everyday i just say "fine" and walk to my desk, no change of expression, no over excitement. Its been three months, don't you think they might want to lay off. I think they are mostly being pushy simply because havnt spoken one word to anyone about her death. God which reminds me i have to meet with a counseler today, part of Jays trying to be a parent, so not working. Jay is my mothers youngest brother to say the least.
  
  day 73 of school after my mothers death, check.
  Oh god why did he insist on driving my mothers 1969 convertible mustang to to pick me up, its not that it reminds me of her, it just reminds me how young my quote on quote uncle is. God he looks like a greek goddess, dark mysterious hair, faded blue jeans, and his armani red shirt, and to top it off his freaking boots! he is so embarrassing.
  
  "hey kid! How was school?"
  
  "do you have to dress like a greek goddess everytime you pick me up from school? i know you just sit at home all day in your robe and wait tell one so you can start getting ready to pick me up, honestly i think i would mind less if you came in your robe."
  
  "i dont think your classmates mind" He grinned
  
  "i cant wait tell i get my car back" i grumbled
  
  "so are we off to that counseling session?" i asked
  
  "We? No you are" He shot me a painful smile that just reminded me of how excruciating the 55 minutes of talking to someone that just liked to hear themselves talk and so they decided to make a living off of it. Great.
  "how are we feeling today? How do you feel about this, How do you feel about that?"
  Blah blah, i wonder if he knows that when he sits down his pants go almost up to his knees, maybe thats why he didnt greet me at the door because he accidentally wore high waters today, but then again he may have just been oblivious. Big framed glasses, those extremely tacky rubber shoes that everyone seems to be wearing now days, a sweater vest! Come on seriously! So much for not stereo typing, this guy is a straight up nerd. His office was typical all kinds of framed documents, declaring how smart he is, a couch, a desk, a phone, the usual.
  "Jen, hello? Are you okay Jen"
  "oh i'm sorry, this is the 5th counselor ive seen and i subconsciously cut out all the intros, because they are all the same, sorry. Lets just cut to the chase."
  
  
  to be continued